The Legalized Alien's Lament

ONCE upon a time
Making money was a crime,
And I was in my prime,
And working for nothing.

Now that habit's hard to break,
And what I got you wouldn't take
The time to steal. Life's so unreal
When you're working for nothing.

        Working for nothing
                   -- ain't my act.
        Working for nothing
                   -- an un-natural fact,
        Working for nothing.

Those fat cats in the top hats
All know money's where its at,
Say `You want it easy, want it fat?
Quit working for nothing.'

Those dudes hopping on The Line,
Making Fords and doing fine,
Do you think they'd take a shine
To working for nothing?

        Working for nothing
                   -- for pie in the sky.
        Working for nothing
                   -- in the sweet bye and bye
        We'll all be working for nothing.

That politician with the handshake,
His love for you's a stone fake.
He wants your love for his sake.
He ain't smiling for nothing.

He's got your votes in his sights.
He'll come out on top all right.
Still, his wife stays out all night,
Working for nothing.

        Working for nothing
                   --Gotta break on through.
        Working for nothing
                   --Where dreams come true
        No more working for nothing.

Gotta make that bacon.
Gotta pay that rent.
Gotta give that loan shark
My last red cent.

Gotta make a final payment
And get my pistol outta hock.
Gotta press my three-piece suit.
Gotta darn my sock.

Then there's alimony, child-support,
And last month's union dues.
And my baby needs a new pair
Of hand-made English shoes.

Says she's been broke before
And she won't put out no more,
If putting out just means
She's working for nothing.

        Working for nothing
                   -- But there ain't nothing free.
        Working for nothing
                   -- It's just the fool in me
        That's working for nothing.

I used to be a winner,
A syncopated sinner.
I handed out all my love for free
(Yes, that was really me.)

Now I jump when they push the button,
Trying to get me a piece of something,
Trying to make a deal that beats
Working for nothing.

        Working for nothing
            -- Outside where Hell freezes.
        Working for nothing
            -- When even the baby Jesus
        Has quit working for nothing.

Gonna pull myself together,
Buy the papers, find a job.
Maybe dress up all in leather
And break legs for the mob.

Maybe I'll wear those sharkskin suits,
Be the servant, play the clown,
For those jokers in the penthouse
That own the whole damn town.

Maybe I'll be a jewel thief,
Or rob banks like Willie Sutton,
Or be a local discount hit-man.
It's better than working for nothing.

        If you're working for something
                   -- don't make no bets.
        It only seems like something
                   -- cause you ain't seen nothing yet.
        No, you ain't seen nothing yet.