Yesterday

From Michelle's moving and important Voices: Stories from 9/11 and Beyond

My wife and I live in Tucson, Arizona where I am stationed at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base. That morning I had decided to sleep in a little later than normal. I don't remember why, but for some reason I didn't have to be to work at 0730.

I was just starting to wake up when the phone rang. It's on my wife's side of the bed so she answered it. She let out one of those wailing "NOs!" that you know only comes from the most horrific news. I assumed that one of our family members had died so I was instantly wide awake and waiting for her to tell me the bad news. Instead she slammed the phone down and grabbed for the remote with these frantic motions which made her clumsy. She was scrabbling around the bed trying to pick up the remote and point it at the television. All the while she was repeating, "It's gone, it's gone. The World Trade Center is gone." I had no idea what she was talking about, but as soon as she turned on the television there was a plane hitting one of the towers. I had a moment of utter confusion, my wife was saying the trade center was gone, but it looked like I was watching it getting it hit. Then it hit me, this was a replay. I knew in that instant it was no accident.

My mind flipped. You understand if you're in the military, or civilian emergency services. I compartmentalized, my world got cold and everything had a sudden sharp clarity. I got up and without looking at my wife, told her, "There's going to be a war. I better get to work." I took a shower, got dressed and left. Later my wife said I had turned into a machine and in a way I had.

I got to work and we had the benefit of a television in the office so we spent the rest of the day watching the news. All the while I had this cold refrain running through my head, "People are going to die. People are going to die. They are fucking going to die."

Pointer via Silent Running

Posted by Vanderleun at September 1, 2003 9:37 AM | TrackBack