December 31, 2010: Defused Lethal Poem Released by Government. "Safe but Still Sucks" says President

Wow! I don't know what your talking about Gerard. Why, that's the best journalistic interview and prose I've ever seen.

I just can't wait to see this guys picture on every street corner in a few years. He's saved us from ourselves!

All hail Albert.

Since they're throwing awards around like cow pies these days, how about he get one for that unforgettable piece of world saving poetry. And she should get one since she didn't blurt out what she was thinking:

"I'd love to roll you up into a ball and put you into my vagina, you God like man".

Posted by JD at December 13, 2009 5:56 AM

One man accidentally saw two words of it and had to spend several weeks in hospital.......

Posted by Chris at December 13, 2009 6:13 AM

I should'a listened, Gerard.
I read the poem aloud in my living room.
My wife immediately left me and took up with a tattooed lesbian named Barney. Booger the Cat leaped into the fireplace, and immolated herself on the gas log. The goldfish leaped out of the bowl and flushed himself down the toilet, and the Jehova's Witnesses who stopped by heard two lines, and told me my soul just wasn't worth saving. But I'm doing OK. Nothing a little Thorazine won't cure...

JWM

Posted by jwm at December 13, 2009 9:00 AM

Vapors rise as pepcid settles on my acid stomach.

Posted by Gagdad Bob at December 13, 2009 9:39 AM

2011...

Websters announced today several new additional words to it's vast lexicon, and in a surprising move redefined a single word.

"Dross", will now be defined as: "Al Gore-like in prose"

Posted by Patvann at December 13, 2009 10:39 AM

The only thing more awesome than the post above would be a Youtube clip of Gerard reciting Al's pome while accompanied by a slide show of C. Johnson's greatest images ever. Imagine the body count.

Posted by mrp at December 13, 2009 12:41 PM

Visions of a Vogon Gore.

Posted by retriever at December 13, 2009 1:54 PM

It is sad to take yourself so seriously
believing your own propaganda religously
Now here we have poor pathetic Al Gore
Writing prose like a sanctimonious whore
He wanders with out direction or a point of view
In a pointless forest, still searching for a clue
That justifies his Hoax of Global Warming
Lack of factual data has been so disarming

Skookum 09

Posted by Skookum at December 13, 2009 6:02 PM

This is so damned cathartic.

I hope Algore writes more poetry thereby enabling you to lead us ". . deeper in to Gore’s shallows."

Bwaahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha!

Posted by Cathy at December 13, 2009 6:07 PM

It is sad to take yourself so seriously
believing your own propaganda religously
Now here we have poor pathetic Al Gore
Writing prose like a sanctimonious whore
He wanders with out direction or a point of view
In a pointless forest, still searching for a clue
That justifies his Hoax of Global Warming
Lack of factual data has been so disarming

Skookum 09

Posted by Skookum at December 13, 2009 6:33 PM

A floating continent disappears
In my voluminous backside.


In midnight sun
I enjoy a bit of blubber
With my pal, Ugluk

Vapors rise as
Fetid fumes escape my parka
Was it the beans?

Fever settles on an acid sea
Where I---wearing Sponge Bob shorts--float
Like plastic tampon inserter thingee.


Snow glides from the mountain
As I evoke bizarre imagery


Ice fathers floods for a season
As alliteration falls flat.


A hard rain comes quickly
And I, bereft of umbrella,
Put on my Carmen Miranda hat.

Then dirt is parched
Because it's been pretty dry in the desert


Kindling is placed in the forest
By compulsive elves

For the lightning’s celebration
Means precisely nothing

The shepherd cries
"Getcher jellied eels right here!"


The hour of choosing has arrived
My pants or yours.


Here are your tools
a cookie and a mallet,
Referring to an old joke about how to get rid of a tapeworm

Posted by Lance de Boyle at December 13, 2009 8:01 PM

Now THAT'S poetry!

Posted by vanderleun at December 13, 2009 8:07 PM

"Deeper in to Gore's shallows" Now that is poetic justice! Too funny!

Posted by Skookum at December 14, 2009 4:41 AM

That's great. As you may know, I'm in Tennessee and Al Gore has been a joke long before he became the minister of the church of global warming.

Posted by Debbie at December 15, 2009 5:48 PM

The Effeminate Poet Al Gore.
was a pompous and blathering bore.
Every word that he uttered,
was mangled and cluttered,
And list'ning to him - such a chore.

Posted by at December 15, 2009 11:29 PM

Sorry, Gerard....the limerick was mine. I take full responsibility for it....It is all I know of poetry...except that yours is better than his or mine.

Posted by Jewel at December 15, 2009 11:30 PM

What, no interpretive dance?

I can't help but point out that the greatest profits during the 1849 California Gold Rush were made by the tool salesmen. Coincidence?

Posted by Dave Schuler at December 16, 2009 11:09 AM

He's no poet. He's also no climatologist, but he does play one on TV or wherever he can.....if people will let him.....and they do.
He was just given a flatulence award at:

The "I'm Not Really A Climatologist, I Just Play One on TV" Flatulence Award:

To Al Gore, who, having made a career out of mocking opponents for "getting the science wrong" on global warming, gets the science wrong on the melting of the polar ice cap, according to the scientist he says he got the science from.

See them all at:
http://www.torontosun.com/comment/columnists/lorrie_goldstein/2009/12/20/12216936-sun.html

Posted by Jimmy J. at December 20, 2009 8:52 PM