This just in...

....Global Warning guru, Al Gore, was found dead this morning. The former Vice President apparently collapsed while walking back from his mailbox, overcome by subfreezing temperature and 12 inches of new snow. Next to the frozen corpse, on whose blue-grey face were stamped a frown and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command, were the former Vice President's last words---"I'm cold. So very cold."---written in the snow. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare, the lone and level snows stretch far away...

"Gee, I guess that pretty much says it all, huh, Murray."

"Yup. I call it poetic justice, Ned."

"I call it good clean fun."

"Let's set his pants on fire. Bet they'll burn through February."

As I sit here with an internal temp of 100.6 degrees and sick as a dog, I can see out my bedroom window that my turtles are out sunning on the pond rocks in 75 degree sunny temps, up from the overnight low of 34. But, the other night, I watched as the Texas Roadhouse in Indianapolis burned to the ground. Two of my younger family members started their working days at this Texas Roadhouse, one a cook, the other the hostess, so it was very sad to see it go. Why did it burn? Because the fire hydrants/pipes were frozen and they could put no water on the inferno.

My daughter and granddaughter in Florida are claiming to be freezing their collective butts off and reports from Pittsburgh are temps from 12 to 22 degrees, but little snow. I remember when I was growing up how my Dad would stand at the open window and pronounce that it was too cold to snow.

Glow-bull warming is getting us everywhere.

Gorsicle!
He was such a fudd. I guess that would be a Fuddsicle.
Where's the stick?

Only Algore would invent the "interweb" and still use snail mail.

Is this a Lenin statue? Resembles the statue erected on Red Square.

Nope. It is actually a sculpture of Al Gore frozen inside ice.

The Shepard cries
Now is the time for freezing.

Here is your Tool.

If only...

What, you mean it's not for real? S**t! We just can't catch a break these days.