Suffer not the old King under any name!

Screw-Guns - Or the flight of the predator today

Smokin' my pipe on the mountings, sniffin' the mornin' cool,
I walks in my old brown gaiters along o' my old brown mule,
With seventy gunners be'ind me, an' never a beggar forgets
It's only the pick of the Army
that handles the dear little pets -- 'Tss! 'Tss!
For you all love the screw-guns -- the screw-guns they all love you!
So when we call round with a few guns,
o' course you will know what to do -- hoo! hoo!
Jest send in your Chief an' surrender --
it's worse if you fights or you runs:
You can go where you please, you can skid up the trees,
but you don't get away from the guns!

They sends us along where the roads are, but mostly we goes where they ain't:
We'd climb up the side of a sign-board an' trust to the stick o' the paint:
We've chivied the Naga an' Looshai, we've give the Afreedeeman fits,
For we fancies ourselves at two thousand,
we guns that are built in two bits -- 'Tss! 'Tss!
For you all love the screw-guns . . .

If a man doesn't work, why, we drills 'im an' teaches 'im 'ow to behave;
If a beggar can't march, why, we kills 'im an' rattles 'im into 'is grave.
You've got to stand up to our business an' spring without snatchin' or fuss.
D'you say that you sweat with the field-guns?
By God, you must lather with us -- 'Tss! 'Tss!
For you all love the screw-guns . . .

The eagles is screamin' around us, the river's a-moanin' below,
We're clear o' the pine an' the oak-scrub,
we're out on the rocks an' the snow,
An' the wind is as thin as a whip-lash what carries away to the plains
The rattle an' stamp o' the lead-mules --
the jinglety-jink o' the chains -- 'Tss! 'Tss!
For you all love the screw-guns . . .

There's a wheel on the Horns o' the Mornin',
an' a wheel on the edge o' the Pit,
An' a drop into nothin' beneath you as straight as a beggar can spit:
With the sweat runnin' out o' your shirt-sleeves,
an' the sun off the snow in your face,
An' 'arf o' the men on the drag-ropes
to hold the old gun in 'er place -- 'Tss! 'Tss!
For you all love the screw-guns . . .

Smokin' my pipe on the mountings, sniffin' the mornin' cool,
I climbs in my old brown gaiters along o' my old brown mule.
The monkey can say what our road was --
the wild-goat 'e knows where we passed.
Stand easy, you long-eared old darlin's!
Out drag-ropes! With shrapnel! Hold fast -- 'Tss! 'Tss!
For you all love the screw-guns -- the screw-guns they all love you!
So when we take tea with a few guns,
o' course you will know what to do -- hoo! hoo!
Jest send in your Chief an' surrender --
it's worse if you fights or you runs:
You may hide in the caves, they'll be only your graves,
but you can't get away from the guns!

We really need a new Kipling for these new Kipling's Wars.

Posted by Mikey NTH at January 18, 2010 2:34 PM

Kipling will have the last laugh. Most of the so-called poets who lived after him and mocked him, will be forgotten, and Kipling, in his wisdom shall be recognized as the best poet of the 20th Century.

Posted by Fat Man at January 18, 2010 5:35 PM

Oh! If only it were that simple boys ... I fear that Gramsci and his disciples have trumped Kipling; first your Fatherlands and Mother Countries, now America the Beautiful, from sea to shining sea. And with Mohammed in cahoots, it's looking grimmer and grimmer. Was it it Kipling who said:

"I've flogged you and I've flayed you, I've fucked, and never paid you; but you're a better man than I am Gungha Din".

"Conscience doth make cowards of us all", saith the bard.

Posted by Frank P at November 22, 2010 2:19 AM

"The Gods of the Copybook Headings limp up to explain it once more..."

Posted by Darkwater at April 24, 2014 5:36 AM

Democracy and Kipling? I'm confused. Tyranny is perfectly compatible with democracy.

Posted by james wilson at April 24, 2014 8:42 AM

Look at the tool at the end of the logo.

Posted by vanderleun at April 24, 2014 10:03 AM

That was on the tip of my mind, but I have a very small tip of the mind. Good work, bad audience.

Posted by james wilson at April 24, 2014 10:11 AM

Frank P., it was NOT Kipling who authored the lines you quoted. Kipling's lines are, in his homage to Gunga Din,
" ... Yes, Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Though I've belted you and flayed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

(h/t) www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/176155

Posted by Howard Nelson at April 24, 2014 1:02 PM