Falstaff on Marriage

Four centuries back Will tried to warn me, and I paid no attention.


Posted by Don Rodrigo at July 24, 2010 3:07 PM

I recommend cats.

Posted by rickl at July 24, 2010 3:18 PM

Yes; responsibility is a very bill of laden,
Is it not? And the married
formerly merried man
is now much laden with
that he does now laid on with;

And the society - that which he desires
and that from which he is sired -
has many things to say that he must do
or else he is verily screwed
To toil and grin
and bring all labors in
or else - if a dram
or friend he sees
it all be the worst
for he will be damned.

(etc., etc.,)

Posted by at July 24, 2010 5:13 PM

The above lament's cry
Can be laid at my door, says I.

I 'twas never married; I had seen my brothers
And joining them was against my druthers
But now seein' each on round two
(especially the youngest) I say 'what'd I do?'

It ain't bein' married that your are to escape,
It's knowin' who to 'void enterin' that state.
Find the lass with sense for two
And there is no reason
to avoid 'I do'.

Posted by Mikey NTH at July 24, 2010 5:20 PM

I once said and it's worth repeating: The definition of shrewd: 'Tis the epitaph of a man who was married to a shrew.
~English is the most AWESOMEST language ever!

Posted by Jewel at July 24, 2010 6:47 PM

jewel - ain't that the truth!

And Mr. Shakespeare and Mr. Wodehouse were able to make the words...just...dance.

Posted by Mikey NTH at July 24, 2010 7:45 PM

.... smiles.

Posted by TmjUtah at July 24, 2010 9:30 PM

I've never seen that passage before. What play was it from? It truly has to be read aloud to appreciate the full brilliance of the words and their placement.

The way it rolls off the tongue is just ... brilliant! How come we never got to see the fun parts of the Bard while I was in school? We only got the boring parts.

(and it reminds me of this song from the Clancy Brothers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJsAYO4EB3w 3:31)

Posted by pdwalker at July 24, 2010 9:31 PM

That passage is found only in the Vanderleun Shakespearian Folio, a new edition.

Posted by vanderleun at July 24, 2010 10:30 PM


Posted by reliapundit at July 25, 2010 8:17 AM

doesn't "impending nuptials" sound like a genital abnormality?

Posted by reliapundit at July 25, 2010 8:18 AM

Yes, that's what I've concluded as well: the man is going madly off to be merrily married! Congrats!

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at July 25, 2010 9:48 AM

What foil and flap do commence
From tidings ill-founded upon a whimsy;
That married state should hound a man
Unwilling, to shelter unfitting.

What fools compel Shylock
Upon a perilous bargain;
Whilst our Lords snap their jaws vainly
At man alone, content with his crust.

Posted by raincityjazz at July 25, 2010 1:51 PM

Congratulations, sir!

For what it is worth, Mrs. Utah read my above little tidbit from over my shoulder and after I explained my suspicion she exclaimed "...SMILES??? There is such a thing as too subtle by twice, Mr. Utah, and you are doing it!"

We talk strange here in Utah. And we have a thing for Green Jello. It's all good.

Posted by TmjUtah at July 25, 2010 6:19 PM

With 35 bucks and quite harried,
The JP pronounced us both married.
To have gone and eloped
Didn't mean we were dopes
But the landlord would not let us tarry.

(true story of our marriage set badly to rhyme)

Posted by Jewel at July 25, 2010 9:55 PM

I don't remember who said this, "The best thing about getting a new mistress, is getting rid of the old one." Well worth saying again.

Posted by Jewel at July 24, 2011 2:34 PM

Yep. Marriage sucks. It's no walk in the park for wives either. But it wasn't my idea.

Posted by RedCarolina at July 24, 2011 4:11 PM

I could use your reader's lawyer. Hell, we all could. Can't say we weren't warned, huh? But love is fucking blind.

Posted by RedCarolina at July 24, 2011 5:35 PM

All this brings to mind the words of Steely Dan's
"Haitian Divorce".

Posted by CharlieMac at July 25, 2011 5:19 PM

Well, after all is said and done, what was said or done, Gerard? Gerard?

Posted by Jewel at December 29, 2012 2:12 PM

Mmm, good.

Posted by chuck at December 29, 2012 2:29 PM

It only works...to be followed by a bear..

Posted by Leslie at December 29, 2012 5:04 PM


Makes me wonder how my wife and I have managed to make forty years; and are looking forward to forty more.


Posted by Dave at December 30, 2012 5:42 AM

35 years next Monday. You would think the Governor would give me a pardon. No such luck. Sigh.

Posted by Fat Man at April 13, 2015 5:19 AM

My pastor likes to say, "Marriage is like flies on a screen door. The ones one the outside want in, and the ones on the inside want out."

Posted by Deborah HH at April 13, 2015 7:31 AM

"But mark me well, my Fool - once married,
maids are no more maids but wives."

Yours too?

Posted by Rob De Witt at April 13, 2015 8:33 AM