Mirror Mirror

For the new husband, if you want to know what your wife will look like in 25 years, look at her mother.

It always works.

Unfortunately.

And you'll refuse to believe it.

In time you will grow into it, just like your father in law did, and you'll find out it isn't so bad after all.

The key to a long, happy marriage is a detached garage.

Posted by ghostsniper at May 23, 2014 6:11 PM

I'm afraid you may have missed something. The fact is, the earth is spinning out of control and has been for a good thirty years now. I can prove this by the settled science that the summers are now hotter, the winters are colder, the ground is much harder and gravity has increased dramatically over what it was like when I was only 20. If it makes you happy, though, keep telling yourself that it's a trick Chinese mirror. I just smile and nod and take some more ibuprofen.

Posted by Big Mo at May 23, 2014 6:47 PM

Gerard, Gerard, you've been hoodwinked. The mirror of your true youth was not replaced with 'Chinese' distortioning mirror. It was not replaced at all! You are simply now looking through the medicine cabinet's hole in the wall into the wrinkled shnook's face of the fellow in the apartment opposite your own! He's also had his mirror and medicine cabinet removed and is looking at you, shocked and dismayed that he's not as handsome and virile looking as you are.
The NSA simply did not have enough time to get their camcorders set up behind your true mirror before you and el shnook woke at the same time.
A simple test of the truth of what I say is to kiss the next 17 women [17 is a prime number] you see tomorrow, afterwards asking each, "Am I not a handsome devil?" Those women over 80 will say "Yes" and "Thank you." Those younger, being nonplussed, will tend to be neutral or negative [the only alternatives to being non-plussed; a simple mathematical axiom].

Posted by Howard Nelson at May 23, 2014 8:24 PM

Fat chin, full beard. Believe it.

Posted by John at May 24, 2014 9:29 AM

You could always have a nice apple and a nap. That also worked for the queen.

Posted by Jewel at May 24, 2014 3:16 PM

I look like a scabrous, pregnant Bassett hound. Welcome to my world.

Posted by Flannelputz at May 26, 2014 12:54 AM