"NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States, by the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2011 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month."

The fiery pit of hell opens before us.

"Jonah went down into the city, a day's journey. And he cried, 'Nineveh shall be cast down in 40 days!'

"Word reached the king of Nineveh, who arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. The king decreed to the city, 'All shall fast, no one may eat or drink, Everyone shall be covered with sackcloth, and shall pray mightily to God; Let everyone repent from his evil ways and from the violence which is in his hands. Pray that God will turn from his fierce anger, so that we do not perish'

"And the people of Nineveh believed God; they fasted, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest down to the least. When God saw what they did, how they repented their evil ways, God turned away from the destruction He had said He would do to them; and He did not do it."

Jonah 3:4-10

Unfortunately, we have no prophets to warn us, and our king is a buffoon.

Posted by Fat Man at June 1, 2011 6:08 PM

Geesh, I feel so... heterosexual today. The longer he's president, the more I think Obama might be light in loafers. Am I alone in this? I also think Michelle might be our historicly first "first dude". I'M KIDDING! No matter... Now we can collectively celebrate the entire gender spectrum. Hurray. His presidency is saved.

Posted by RedCarolina at June 1, 2011 7:04 PM

historically - I blame the vodka. The Obamas do have a way of keeping us scratching our heads.. that is when we're not banging them against a wall. I'm gonna need a helmet.

Posted by RedCarolina at June 1, 2011 7:07 PM

So does this mean July is Straight Month?

Posted by Cactiki at June 1, 2011 9:40 PM

I demand equality! I want a Straight Pride Month. Equal rights for all!

Posted by Sara (Pal2Pal) at June 2, 2011 12:07 AM

Having the Mahogany God bestow Pride upon their collective noggins has to be beyond surreal; it fits with the Progressive position, you cannot have pride in self unless we bestow it upon you.

Posted by Peccable at June 2, 2011 6:14 AM

Too right, Peccable. And they go even farther with "you are (fill in with coordinating 'phobe') if you disagree with us!"

They want to pass legislation to make it a crime to express anything even resembling a phobia and that doesn't begin to cover the phobias they will use against us after they grant human rights to plants and animals. I WISH I were exaggerating.

It was the threat of the Almighty race card that caused the fractures by forcing banks to loan to low income minorities and that triggered the entire world economy to collapse. It wasn't capitalism or the lack of regulations.

If there was a lack of regulations, it was at the government agencies of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and that was on the Democrats' watch. In fact, it was our own maverick, John McCain, who tried to get regulations implemented while the Democrats (dare I name names?) insisted nothing was wrong, blocking regulations. And we thought Democrats were all about regulations?? wtf?

Furthermore, according to Black Liberation Theology, we must confess white guilt or burn in Hell.. and this is the faith of Barack & Michelle Obama. They were married under that faith, they worshipped under that faith and their children were baptized and raised in that faith.

We are racist for.. well for simply existing we are racist by default.. according to our president's core faith. We are homophobes for wanting to preserve the traditional family, unless we are fortunate enough to be non-white - then we get a pass on the homophobe thing.

We are xenophobes for wanting to enforce immigration laws, unless we are non-white.. then we blame it all on the white establishment.

Hell we are "Nazis" for wanting lower taxes, unless we are non-white which gets us the uncle tom label.

The phobe list goes on and on and on...

And there is no hiding from the long arm of Leftist Labeling, especially for those of us who are pigmentedly challenged. And just wait till they manage to get the legislation passed. Even the very concept of "free speech" will be outlawed.

Posted by RedCarolina at June 2, 2011 8:01 AM

I do hereby declare that the month of July 2011 is Old Bald White Guy Month.

Posted by pfsm at June 2, 2011 4:21 PM

I'll have a concise reaction to that proclamation after I finish cleaning the vomit off my keyboard.

Posted by RandomThoughts at June 2, 2011 9:53 PM