Comments: Like a Horse and Carriage
Same thing happened to VT's first gay married couple. They wanted something so bad and then found out it wasn't all that great.
Posted by Mike at June 26, 2012 6:17 AM
My wife's college girlfriend married last year, and the unholy union lasted a grand total of 4 months before infidelity and the realities of non-complimentary matrimony conspired to decouple the pair. This was not a surprise to anyone who knew them, even those who enthusiastically supported their bravery in flipping the bird to all those who stand in opposition to their 'civil rights'.
The decision my wife made to give up on trying to destroy old ideas accept the traditional man/woman relationship as an ideal was made when she left the cloistered oppression of academia and began to interact with the real world.
More than anything she became aware that a couple of two identical natures was inherently unhealthy.
It's not often recognized but the main reason why long term couples work is because each side has some level of ignorance of how the other works, meaning each side brings traits inherent in their nature that help to form a whole.
For instance: Women notice EVERYTHING that happens all the time - the sighs, the subtext, the hidden meanings, the relationship between the comment made 4 years ago and the way your eyes followed the young waitress refilling your coffee in the blouse that was just a bit too loose for her comfort, that trifling hussy (I don't know where she picked up 'hussy', but she prefers that to more vulgar terms).
Men notice the problems at hand and ignore the other stuff distracting them from it.
A good couple has both sides - one to fix the problem, and another to avoid future problems by noticing all things missed by the other.
Without that balance, the nature of the relationship is one that will cause, not alleviate, the problems of the individual. It is not built to last, not built to create anything more than the appearance of union.
This is not to say that there should not be lesbian/gay/Q couples. I'm not arguing that gayness is evil, that there are not happy LGBT couples, or that we need to pray the gay(s) away.
But we must be aware that as the push to bestow official endorsement of same sex unions, we are being asked to endorse and promote inherently unhealthy and destructive relationships that will do nothing to add to the happiness, creativity, or productivity of the individuals who chose that path.
And yes, I'm aware that traditional marriage isn't always healthy, but that's a separate issue. And there are very good reasons why we should allow legal, contractual unions between two people.
But the redefinition of an ancient societal institution and effective endorsement of a lifestyle which over the course of centuries society has evolved to keep on the fringes is fraught with peril, and - if the results we are seeing so far are any indication - will only be good for therapists and divorce lawyers.
Posted by Joe at June 27, 2012 6:12 AM