Clandestinely drop a single low-yield nuke on a known NORK nuclear facility. Flood the the media with cries of "nuclear accident," Mother of all Chernobyls, and offers of humanitarian assistance. Simultaneously deploy peace envoys and ninja assassins to the Korean peninsula, and make sure every North Korean diplomat and ship traveling abroad meets with an unfortunate accident. Deny all involvement, and give a speech declaring the revitalization of the economy/protection of the environment/government support of the arts/battle against AIDS, psoriasis, and world hunger to be "Job One." Ridicule France. Next question?
Posted by slimedog at July 21, 2004 7:31 AMLet ROKs deal with the invasion with clandestine US air support while Japanese police and military search for the nuke. If they find it, the coast is clear and let US and ROK forces push 'em all the way back to the Chinese border.
The main problem with dealing with the Norks is the initial artillery barrage facing Seoul; I suppose that intense counter-battery fire from US forces is the only way to get around it. (How you'd
That Japanese city is pretty much a goner; even with all the help in the world (I'm assuming that the NEST varsity would be over there), I'm guessing they'd never find it.
Posted by Novice Chemist at July 21, 2004 11:55 AMGeez, I'm so impulsive! Why didn't I think of a simpler, multilateral approach sooner?
Hold a combination press conference/air show in Tokyo to announce the latest US military assistance program: 100 tactical and strategic nuclear weapons airfreighted to the Japanese Defense Forces. Congratulate the Japanese on their latest initiative to re-establish the Greater East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere. Wire Pyongyang thanking their Ambassadors for all becoming organ donors. Ridicule France, the People's Republic of China, and the South Korean peace movement.
Posted by slimedog at July 21, 2004 1:01 PMNuke Paris. It is all their fault anyway. Send pictures to Beijing. Make some Marguirita's and kick back.
Posted by Oscar at July 21, 2004 2:36 PMDoh! I gotta FOCUS. Leave it to Oscar to remember the Margaritas. And chips. And dip. And shooters. And those little rolly-up taquito thingys... Did I say to ridicule France?
Posted by slimedog at July 21, 2004 7:14 PM