I did the first coupla sentences but I just couldn't wade any further through that mud. pointless

It is hard to get for limited attention spans. It also requires that one is familiar with three major touchstones of recent popular culture, Dr. Strangelove, The Godfather, and Blazing Saddles. All this makes it an extrmely difficult April 1 post that will bring those of limited ability up short. I should have posted a trigger notice. I'll make it simpler next year.

VdL -

Nah, fuck 'em. Make 'em learn to read.

And see if you can figure out how Mexicans make that upside down exclamation point so you can spell !Jeb! correctly, y'know?

Keep after the fu ched Republicants. Give em no quarter. Trump could decapitate a kitten in Times Square for all I care, and I'd still vote for him. Here's why (for the stupidly impaired voters out there). I read yesterday that Wal Mart just took their first loss in maybe forever. McDonalds has also started into the red, I understand. These are the vestigal markets; the ones who profited from the screw you economy of Barry Ocligula the destroyer. Now stop and think a second. We've had a bad economy for 8-9 years now, and the whole time the media and Washington have been telling you how sunny it is. That is some scary shit right there!
Trump is existentially about the economy. He will on day 1, I reckon, say, "we are deficient here, here, and here; now let's get to work."
idc if he sells the girl scouts to Chile, he is our only hope against the evil that has descended upon us. Think for a moment about Cruz the Senator and the economy. The Senate! The Senate! They are fundamentally retarded when it comes to the economy. Their whole agenda is tax and spend. It is their only motive. How are you going to upend that machine and make it run backwards? Answer: it starts with an engineer hammer and ends with a lot of broken stuff.

Twitter Gerard fuses with American Digest Gerard to create an April Fool's Day classic.

I doff my cap to you, sir, fare thee well.

Not a bad 1st of April kickoff at all Vanderleun!

I do assume, of course, that before sitting down to the ̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ computer you either consumed four shots of Irish or watched my favorite faggot, Milo Yiannopoulos, on Youtube for and hour to find the ̶g̶a̶y̶ bright cadence and rhythm that shines throughout the piece.

A man's gotta drink what a man's gotta drink to git er done, Jim.

Hell, Gerard, I enjoyed reading it. I would like to point out though, that you can shoot a .300 Win Mag or you can shoot a .338 Lapua but not at the same time. "...looking to put a .300 Winchester Magnum .338 Lapua Magnum round into their pointy little heads at 1,000 meters?"

And Rob...... "¡¡¡Mission Accomplished!!!"

The tire is completely shredded, even the bead is mostly missing, but there are people that think it can be fixed.

Not discarded.
Not replaced.
Fixed, using conventional tire repair tools and materials.

THAT'S scary.

Next summer....if not sooner.

I'll stick with my .308's.
~proven~proud~perfect~

VdL -

You gotta admit it's a lot funnier that way....

I'm cornfused. I take it that this is a joke? I'd find it highly disconcerting to think that you've descended into Trumpian nitwittery. Nothing will be stolen from the gaseous douchebag. He will simply have failed to accumulate the votes of a sufficient number of delegates, no matter how many voters stomp their feet. It is a political party, and these are their rules. He might have wanted to spend some time looking into those rules before he stumbled onstage with his geek-show. Alas, his lack of interest in the details of almost anything will be his undoing, and rightly so.

Date stamp is pretty big. Just sayin'