I like your image of the "Donkeyphant."

Donkeys and Elephants are no longer appropriate symbols for these two parties, but Baboons and Hyenas are.

Republicans are baboons because they are male dominated, and only a bunch of baboons would let their power slip away so easily.

Democrats are hyenas because -- like that unfortunate beast -- they are female-dominated, and have a penchant for stealing the fruits of other animals' labors.

it just makes we want to take a big, fat smoking brain dart between the eyes every single morning
I feel your pain!

If Hillary gets elected, she will be glad to oblige you on the brain dart. In fact, Hillarycare will be giving some variation to all those diagnosed as psychotic - oops - conservative. No charge to you, of course!

Two more reasons to prefer major league baseball to the perpetual campaign: 1) baseball is still played one season at a time; 2) the players have to have a certain minimal level of competence to reach the majors.

Between the educational and journalistic establishments we have reduced the office of the President of the United States of America to the relevance and depth of a D&D editions war. Which is to say, bugger all. Thus our keepers have made politics safe for office holders by rendering the merest urge towards participating in a presidential election about as appetizing as watching the city of Boston respond to an ad campaign.

The perennial flaw of representative democracy; it's a popularity contest. This, combined with a poor and declining standard of education and the fact that politicians are human beings who want to keep their jobs, leads to perpetual campaigning and planning that never lasts past the next election; also to policies that, while popular, are downright harmful to the country.

Classic Greek democracy had it about right; democracy carried out directly by the electorate, and an electorate with minimum standards for entry. Heinlein's variant (democracy with the qualifier being having risked your life for your country) had its points too.

This isn't a swing at American politics; UK politics is arguably worse.

They are all, in their own peculiar ways, candidates climbing off the short bus, special to the last man.

We get exactly what we tolerate and we've come to this. I share your disdain.