For My Daughter

I am stunned everyday to realize that our only child is now 13 years older than I was when he was born.

Two harsh realities:
Time seems faster in hindsight.
Time seems faster in foresight when you're old.

When you're 10 a year is forever but when you're 60 a year is a month.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes - a shitty deal if you ask me.

No I don't wanna see video of your child's birth but I'll certainly take a look at video of the conception. :-)

Posted by ghostsniper at May 22, 2017 11:53 AM

I assume, forgive me if I'm mistaken, that you are estranged from your daughter. Nothing could be more painful, and you have my undying sympathy if so.

Mine is 51 now; her last words to me were "I don't want you in my life." I confess I don't know what else to do but to honor that.

Posted by Rob De Witt at May 22, 2017 12:01 PM

You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Posted by Leslie at May 22, 2017 12:13 PM

Many will tell you that, in time, in time, in time all will come round again and that the estrangement will fade and be over... and I suppose for most they do. But for some this does not seem to be happening as the days diminish down to a precious few.

Posted by vanderleun at May 22, 2017 12:46 PM

How very beautiful.

Posted by ahem at May 22, 2017 4:07 PM

That made my day Gerard. I have a very hard time with my similar life experiences. And the weeks are flying by so fast I cannot gather the words to help my soul. You and I have some things in common besides our age.

Posted by Terry at May 22, 2017 4:39 PM

So beautifully said.

I was one of those kids who didn't talk to her father for years. I had a right to be angry, but I thank God that he granted me the grace, finally, to just let it go. It was so good to set down that burden.

I pray, for any here whose children can't let go of their resentments, whatever the reason, that they too may have the grace and the wisdom to let the wrath in their hearts soften and turn once more to love.

Posted by Julie at May 22, 2017 5:23 PM

Given the tone of this thread, I'll add my heartbreaking story to the mix and swill some vinegar water afterward. My Irksome Middle Child has abandoned us. No contact...well, occasionally to blame us for all that is wrong in her life. But she also abandoned her son and her marriage and we are left to try to explain why mommy doesn't want him. I can't. St. Monica pray for us.

Posted by Jewel at May 22, 2017 6:16 PM

I have learned that, that life is long and with luck we have about 10 years to share lives with our children. By the time their mid-teens arrive, the almost infinite opportunities and challenges of the wide world pull them away. More and faster, their lives become hidden to us. That is as it should be, that as parents is how we want it.

With even more luck, they will come by from time to time and let us know what's doing. Even though they are immersed in their worlds, I think it gives them comfort and courage to know that their parents keep a home for them to come visit, if for a little while.

There was an essay on the Internet some years back, but I've lost track where it is. Some country folk fostered some abandoned fox pups, I think. For awhile the growing pups were part of the family, but one day the call of the wild forestlands beyond the homestead became too strong, and they left. The people reported that on occasion, they see a lone fox near dusk, sitting at the edge of the clearing and looking at the homestead for awhile, before turning back to the forest. The people reported that it gave them great comfort to recognize that fox as one of their grown up pups.

Posted by John A. Fleming at May 22, 2017 11:51 PM

Thank you for not leaving these thoughts unspoken.God spared me from the challenge of raising daughters (thank you Lord) by blessing me with two sons. Now I have three granddaughters. From birth the three have continued to mystify and captivate me with their open-hearted vulnerability,their steely resolve, and their gentle strength. I will share your poetry with their Dads, who have my sympathy.

Posted by Baba at May 23, 2017 5:36 AM

I was in tears before the end. I have a 23-y/o daughter and we are very close. She just graduated this month with a BS in chemical engineering, cum laude, with honors.

But it was just last week that I held her "as some small prized gem ... Wrapped and so precious in my hands."

In this life we have nothing - no property, no wealth, no progress, no substantive dreams, no health, no time.

In this life, all we have is one another, nothing else. Job said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart,’ but he was only half right. Naked are we born, but we die clothed in the love we gave away.

Posted by Donald Sensing at May 23, 2017 6:26 AM

I am the father of two beautiful daughters, 26 and 22. My older lives and works in NYC and the younger will attend grad school in the Fall. We don't always see eye to eye but I am so fortunate that we are close and love each other.

I don't really care for poetry but I like this and I sent it to them to remind them of how much they mean to me.

Posted by Jack at May 23, 2017 8:11 AM

I love this. Good timing, too. My oldest is 13 this week. Lord, help me not to hold on too tightly.

Posted by Cindy at May 24, 2017 8:00 AM

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