And exactly how does this description differ from the common 40-year-old?

Exactly why I never go to meetings.

There are levels of insanity up with which I just can't put.

JWM

Gerard,

I sense incipient curmudgeonhood on your part.

After I became to old to spank, Dad sent me to The Thinking Corner . . . among his papers I recently found two essays he kept that were written by moi during junior high per his direction. Topic One: "Phone Etiquette"; topic two: "Calling Siblings Names". It's still hard for me to call my 63 year old sister "Stupid" even though she is.

Gerard, you have just encapsulated in your essay a big part of the reason I have avoided marriage and fatherhood for the entire 50+ years of my existence. I've seen how kids behave, and I've known of parents who suffered consequences for attempting to discipline them. No, thanks.

It's not much better here in Asia. Kids are indulged completely until they're about 10, especially if they're from wealthy families. Nannies, wet-nurses, the whole shebang. Putting up with these brats on an airplane or in a restaurant is almost impossible unless you're deaf.

I know "kids are our future", and many of them turn out just fine in spite of everything. But getting them to that point seems like more of a battle than I ever wanted to have.

Whoever said that civilization was one generation away from barbarism probably ran a day-care center.

"Your children are so well behaved"

Yes Ma'am. In our house we believe that better behaviour is achieved through bigger beatings.

When my kids were growing up, they threatened to call Child Protective Services if I was "mean" to them. I told them: "Go ahead. It will take the cops at least five or ten minutes to get here. I am not going to jail for nothing. I will make those minutes worth my while."
Someone else told me they always told the kids who threatened to call CPS: "Go ahead. If you don't like living here, wait until you get to foster care"

In ear out mouth: what these adults are really saying (and why we are where we are) is someone take care of me, protect me from being adult and having to deal with everything.

"Napoleonic complexes and the belief that their backsides produce nothing but moonbeams are common mental disorders."

Hmmm, that reminds me of somebody.

If your kids make too much noise, take a bugle into their room and blow it until you get tired. This works even better if you can't play the bugle.

Tested, proven effective.

Another childrearing hint: when your sons become teenagers, keep your hammers in a locked tool cabinet. That way they are harder to get at, and you will have a moment to think while you are fishing for the key. This hint may keep you out of prison.

Excellent insights into modern child rearing, Quent. I'm locking them hammers up for my grandkids sake.